Dinner with Alex

July 09, 2021

Daily Conversations

Alex and I have been in daily conversation since she ended the relationship and asked me to leave her home.  Some of it is by WhatsApp, and some by email.  She initiates most of it, but I welcome it.  We experienced a lot together in those 5 months, and the way it ended wasn't in harmony with the relationship's true essence.  Some of these conversations are anger-laced, and some are focused on grieving.  Everything you would expect.  I have embraced the opportunity to grieve with her over the loss of the relationship, and I'm hoping we can both heal and learn from it.  Only time will tell.

Alex suggested we meet and say goodbye in person before I fly back to KC, and at first, I pushed her away.  I wasn't able to go there with all my swirling emotions.  But as I found peace on the beach, I realized Alex was right yet again.  As I've said before, she pushes me to do things outside my comfort zone.  So I agreed and suggested we meet for dinner Saturday night (June 12).  We went to her cousin's restaurant NUNC City Garden.  I could easily Uber there and we met at 7pm.

Nunc City Garden - Restaurant in San Jose, Costa Rica | Top-Rated.Online

An Evening to Remember

That evening was special.  All the anger and hurt melted away as two mature people showed up with care.  We sat at the bar, holding hands, looking at each other, and sharing kind words.  We largely avoided going back into the ugliness of the breakup.  That wasn't the time or space for it.  I could see the woman sitting next to me that captured my attention all the way back in December.  As I told her family, I came to CR for a winter sabbatical on the beach, but Alex diverted my attention to San Jose.  She captured my imagination about what could be.  I felt like Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting, leaving Boston for California to "see about a girl". 


Alex is beautiful, smart, mature, a successful business owner, and an awesome person.  She has been given a lot in life by her family's social class, but she deserves credit for what she has also created in her life.  I can see her natural talent shine through.  She is blessed and has done a lot with those blessings.  I enjoyed those two hours sharing space with that woman.  I'm glad I'm a more mature man today.  A younger version of myself would not have done this.

The restaurant closed at 9pm because of COVID restrictions (yes, things are different in CR than in the US). I hugged Alex with tons of emotion, and I got into an Uber back to Gustavo's house.  He drove me to the airport the next morning at 4:30am and I left CR without incident. 

A Summary Reflection

Everything that happened to me seems surreal right now.  But these are real stories, and Alex and I are real people.  These emotions and pain and trauma are real and bigger than us.  Everyone has their stories.  I hope I never forget that.